As relationships first begin, sex and intimacy are full of discovery, enjoyment, and excitement. Over time, the mystery and passion wane and as the demands of life can get the best of many of us, we start to neglect intimacy and sex takes a back seat. Whatever life throws at you, it does not mean you can no longer have a satisfying and desirable sex life. Sex drives, like the tides of the ocean, can come and go with their proverbial ‘ups’ and ‘downs.’ This is perfectly normal.
So, how do you go on and have a pleasurable and exciting sex life when your relationship goes past the mystery and novelty phase?
Find out what you like and what really works
Many do not want to talk about ‘sex.’ It’s a personal and private thing. But, you must spend some time to get to know your body more and discover what truly feels good. You can lie on a warm bath and explore your body and personally experience the sensation. Find out what you like through masturbation and let your partner know about it.
The lack of passion and sexual desire can happen for a number of reasons as we grow old, it can be due to money problems, illnesses, having children, and more. When a partner has a higher sex drive than the other, you have to figure and manage it for the relationship to work out.
For some, sex toys, hugs, and kisses, cuddling sessions, or masturbation can be an option. For others, the use of a jelqing device might help to make the moment last longer. The couple’s needs may be physical, social, economic or even psychological. What is important is that these are identified and addressed properly.
Closely talk and listen to each other
Take some time to talk to your partner about certain issues whether they are physical, emotional, or sexual. If you feel your partner is shying away from sex, express your concerns. If you are the person who has the lower sex drive, you need to reassure your partner that you will love them no matter what and that you enjoy staying close to them.
If for reasons unknown to you, you both find it hard to talk about sex, you may need to ask the assistance of a counselor. If your loss of sex drive is due to medical conditions or use of certain medications, you will have to sit down and discuss this with your doctor. Ask for definite ways in which you can enhance your libido and have the drive to engage in fulfilling sex with your loved one or significant other.
Agree that sex goes beyond orgasm and penetration
It can be tiring to have sex when your sole and only objective is to get laid and reach orgasm. Instead, try to enjoy the entire process of lovemaking and the feelings of being aroused with your partner. You can spend some time exploring each other’s bodies to know what each of you would like, try bathing together, give each other a sensual massage or simply try to touch each other from head to toe.
Through this, you will be able to discover your partner’s deepest sexual desires and preferences as you pay close attention to your partner’s breathing and the sounds he or she makes during lovemaking.
Understand and overcome any obstacles to sex
One important step to undertake is to know and understand the problems that can prevent a couple from enjoying fun and delicious sex together. Find steps to overcome said obstacles for a satisfying sex life together.
The main culprits can be stress, depression, and or anxiety, these can impact sexual appetite and desire. Many psychological changes interfere with the ability to connect sexually and emotionally with your partner.
People can have inhibitions and feel embarrassed either by their bodies or their performance. While there are those who feel less attractive to their partners. Use your age and experience and be candid with your partner and yourself. Relax and let go of any feelings of inadequacy and enjoy the pleasure of being close to your partner physically as well as emotionally.
Getting older does not simply mean you have to forego things you used to enjoy, especially sex. If health allows it, you should stay energetic, get some exercise, stay active, and increase your day to day activities to keep you in good shape. This will largely benefit your sex drive and increase your energy and is ideal for your mood, memory, and mind.